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March 2024
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Not quite ready for the next phase

The Sheldons and Juddmansees have had many fun weekends in Newburyport over the past 5 years. We’ve enjoyed late nights of sipping wine, eating cheese, playing games, and talking about the stuff you can’t talk about with anyone else, and this has continued fairly seamlessly even after Max was born. In some ways it’s even more fun, because we get to hang out and play with Max, see him grow and change over the past 20 months, and we still have adult time after he goes to bed.

The Sheldons are preparing to move to Chicago, which means our Saturday night hang-out times are likely to be severely limited in the future. So, we decided to have a “last hurrah” before their big move and go out on the town to a nice dinner at Aquatini and also introduce Theo to Newburyport and the adoring church ladies.

The concept that this might be the end of an era in our friendship was on my mind the whole weekend. Dan admitted he might get sad, and I was starting to realize the futility of my denial that the Sheldons are moving in a month. Even though we’ll still get to talk on the phone, play WOW, email, read one another’s blogs, and visit, it won’t be the same as calling up on a Saturday at 5pm and saying “hey, let’s get together” and see each other 45 minutes later.

We’ve seen Max change from a 4 pound inch-worm to a good-humored little person, and we know it’s rare to participate so much in our godson’s life. We’ve enjoyed every minute and learned a lot along the way. As we played on the playground with Max, I thought about how he’ll continue to get bigger and learn new words and new skills, and maybe he wouldn’t need me to hold his hand going down the slide the next time we got to play together. We did lots of things we usually do – Dan and Brian stayed up late talking, Sarah and I did our worship service choreography of handling the kids, the hymnal and the bulletin for one another, and we all sat around drinking coffee, eating pastry and talking after church. It is a comforting routine we’ve developed. I wonder if anyone but me noticed that I held Theo whenever someone else wasn’t, that I spent a little more time than usual talking and playing with Max.

Even though I’m sad as I write this, I’m optimistic. The fact that we’ve shared so many experiences together means that we’re in a good place to continue our friendship, despite the extra 976 miles between us. I’m really excited for Sarah to start being a real Doctor, for Dan to get to live in a new place, for Max and Theo to get to spend more time with their grandparents, and for the Sheldons to buy their first home. Our lives change and our relationships change too. Sure, we may have to trade “special occasion” visits for “just because we need to turn this day around” visits. Brian may need to solicit Beth’s help in providing a healthy bit of “raised by wolves” influence. We’re gearing up for the next phase, with at least a little look back over our shoulder.

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