Juddmansee.com

Brian and I signed up for a half marathon on May. It’s taken a lot of work to get back on the running bandwagon. The hardest part is motivation. In addition, it turns out there are several things that have to come together too.

1. Our previous winter runs ended up in soreness, the kind that comes from a bad interface between the pavement and our bodies. Time to get new shoes. Brian’s were simply worn out, my pair isn’t too old but causes blisters on the ball of my foot. As of yesterday we both have new shoes. So far, these are a big win.
2. Brian got some new wicking underlayers back in November, and I got some for Christmas. Clothing is in good shape. I managed to not overdress the past couple weeks, even better. (I love the earbags, by the way.)
3. I still need my own training watch since the 30 lapper I’d gotten for the marathon in 2000 finally gave up the ghost, and a new battery didn’t help. As long as I go with Brian or can borrow his, it works ok. I think someone will buy me a new chrono for my birthday.
4. our actual legs are another story. The shoes help some. More running is really needed to recover full functionality. It really is different to start training in our 30s than it was in our 20s.

To start off the week, I lifted on Saturday and then ran with Beej on Sunday. I was VERY sore. In fact, because my legs bore such a resemblance to jello, I soaked in the tub with my old standby Actibath (which seems to be off the market, but is like alka-seltzer for the tub. The exercise treatment “flavor” has always worked well for me, like a mini-hot-tub treatment), and managed to be only slightly sore on Monday. Unfortunately between some email problems and helping out on a proposal at work, I didn’t get in another workout this week. So, today, I went running again. It was a nice sunny afternoon with sufficient bare pavement, and I felt MUCH better than last weekend. Tomorrow is snoeshoeing, and another opportunity to start a regular training routine this week. I’ll be happy if I get in two weekday workouts.

As promised, here is the Small World montage.

Please hum along the chorus repeatedly as you review the photos, to truly capture the spirit of the ride.

This year, Emily Hume and Mickey Mouse both turned 80. They celebrated by meeting one another for the first time.

Brian’s Mom, Sister and Brother-in Law conspired with us to plan to a family trip to Disney World with Grandma Hume. We stayed at the Frontierland Resort, a brilliant idea because we could stay in two cabins, have room to spread out, enjoy meal times together, and be on Disney property with all the amenities that provides.

We awoke early on January 3 for our visit to the Magic Kingdom. Grandma Hume wore her “First Visit” and “It’s My Birthday” buttons on, of course, her Mickey Mouse sweatshirt.

We had to bundle up because it was very cold! Only 35 degrees, and we were taking the boat, so it was even colder with the wind chill.

But we used friction, or at least spinning, to warm up by riding the Mad Teacups.

Unfortunately we spun too fast so some of us got put in the stockades.

But we were rescued by the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers!

Stay tuned for the “It’s a Small World” Tabblo.

It was a fun two days!

In the figurative sense, it is about time we jotted a post! What’s up with those Juddmansees, anyway? Did they tour the vowel states for Christmas this year or go out for New Year’s? What on earth are they up to these days? Here’s a summary. Ok, maybe it’s got too many details to be a summary. Here are the highlights.

We attended several lovely holiday parties. The San Clementes hosted a fun and friend-packed shindig, with lots of little ones running around, tons of great food, and plenty of opportunities to catch up with many friends. We also attended the AIT holiday party to see my work friends all dressed up and in the holiday spirit, and our friend Carrie’s party in Newburyport with neighbors and friends from church. It was really nice to catch work friends, local friends and college/Otherworld/various networks of friends in three fell swoops.

We didn’t decorate the house. We didn’t send any Christmas cards. We made two kinds of cookies, Church Windows and Sugar Cut-outs (circles, frosted) to eat and to share. Gifts were primarily purchased on a single evening, power shopping excursion. It was a little sparse in terms of holiday preparations. Mostly we sought to catch our flight Dec 22 without forgetting anything, getting sick, or excessively snipping at one another due to stress.

We spent over a week in the vowel states. We got to see lots of family and friends. We survived minor airport delays. We vegged out and took naps whenever we wanted. Rich and Sarah took us to a Pacers game where we got to sit in a luxury box at Conseco. I got to worship in a big congregation with two rows of family and sing carols at full voice among hundreds of others. I got to see old friends and their kids (so many kids!) at my parent’s church. We enjoyed several family dinners with delicious food and lively conversation. We learned to make peanut brittle with Dad. We congratulated Mom on her scheduled retirement January 11. We had dinner with Dawn at a fun Irish pub downtown. Grandma Krueger had a really good few hours while we were visiting on Christmas, for which we were very thankful. We started some new traditions as old ones were let go. We were allowed to watch the Patriots and root for them even though we were in Colts territory. (We just had to cheer quietly.) We got our Steak and Shake fix on Sunday on the way to the airport. We celebrated New Year’s with friends at RedBones. Then it was off to Disney! It gets its own post. There are many many pictures.

So, hopefully, that catches you up on the highlights of the holidays.

Then, going back to the title of this post: in the literal sense, it does seem that life is about time and how our time is spent. As you may have noticed by the decreased frequency of posts, things got a little crazy in December. Time is not a commodity we’ve had to spare. Brian’s been feeling a lot like he did this fall, so he went to the doctor for another round of blood tests, expecting that his Lyme Disease may not be dormant. I’m hoping with the tenuous but successful passing of a key program milestone on a difficult (understatement!) program, things at work will settle down to a dull roar. We’re looking forward to spending more time with you in 2008.

I rarely blog about work but I’m so pleased I have to share a little news. I have met my 2007 financial goals for my directorate.

I sign up to meet certain goals for sales, funding and profit for the year. It’s one of the terrific things about my job, and also one of the more stressful: I have profit and loss responsibility for my business area. My division manager, our general manager, his boss and BAE Systems stockholders (to a very small extent, but still…) count on me to meet my goals, not to mention my group of awesome engineers and scientists who want job security, opportunities for growth and interesting work. All kinds of good things happen when I meet my goals. I don’t think about it constantly, but it is something I track every month.

I’m very proud to announce that I’ve met my 2007 goals as of November 23. I wish that meant I could take fiscal December off. Instead, it means I’m still working until December 21 (plus one day!) but the financial part of it is gravy. For those who aren’t in the business world, it’s sort of like earning an A before you even get to the final exam. Wootie woot woot.

I have many more things to learn about being a Director and many more accomplishments I want to achieve but this is a really nice numerical pat on the back for myself. Thanks for humoring me by sharing in my mini-celebration. Now, on with the holiday parties!

I knew this week that things would have to change a bit. No way could I look at December’s schedule, reflect on the last week, and think that this trend could continue for the rest of the year (which, mind you, is one month). I had some significant signs of anxiety. Everywhere I turned, the solution to the problem was more of my time. And of course, there is no more of my time to be had. Luckily I believe in divine intervention.

First, I didn’t drive on Friday. Brian Judd drove me to Brian Hone’s, who drove me to work, then Dave Korka drove me to his house, then Brian Judd drove me back home. It’s so nice to not have to drive. It’s even nicer to have good company in the car. We had great conversations, and even some good music. (Thanks to B.Hone for sharing your work-in-progress, and I agree a bass solo in every song is a good thing). It’s the icing on the cake to get in early, have a productive morning, and have no choice but to leave work at a reasonable time on a Friday. It started to chip away at my stress.

Then, we had dinner with Ab and Dave and AJ. If you haven’t had dinner with AJ lately, you’re missing out on a very social occasion. She really keeps the conversation going. “Please pass the chips,” “My, this is a tasty kiwi,” “More chips please,” “Yes, I did see my friends Inara and Breila today” and “I think this food would taste better if I were sitting in Mommy’s lap. And also I’d like to be able to easily grab more chips” were all very earnestly offered as banter during the meal. [Small disclaimer: AJ may have had a little parental prompting and some actual verbal expressions may have used fewer words. Nonetheless, I was quite impressed with how well she balanced being 22 months old and having an adult dinner conversation. And I too love chips. She is 1/2 Hoosier you know.]

AJ was tucked into bed while we continued to chat with Ab and Dave. Sorry Dave, I was too beat to focus on talking and playing a game at the same time. But we enjoyed hanging out just the same. It was a nice way to coast into the weekend. Take a deep breath. Talk with Brian about my day on the drive home. Things are getting better.

Then, sleep glorious sleep. It’s amazing how I get a different perspective after a good night’s sleep. Brian and I chatted about our end-of-year charitable contributions while enjoying our morning coffee. I got ahold of my Mom on the first ring (even though she was on her way out the door for an appointment). The underlying cause of one of the personnel situations I’ve been struggling with suddenly became clear this morning, and then my Dad called so I could process through it with him and really get a handle on what I should do. Without a Bible Study group, my Dad is the main person I talk with about prayer and forgiveness and trying to be a better person. We had a nice long talk, almost as good as some of our in-person talks, and it makes me look forward to our long Christmas visit even more. By this point in my day, I knew that I hadn’t fortuitously planned the kind of day I needed, but God was lining up just what He knew I needed.

Then, I went over to decorate the church for Advent. It is always fun to put garland and red ribbons and angels all over the sanctuary. I came home and did a much-needed yoga session, then tackled my email inbox and long-overdue Competitive Assessment of my business area in front of a warm crackling fire. I feel like a new person – my back is relaxed, I can take a deep breath, and things feel under control.

I always feel like Advent is akin to hopping on a roller coaster. End-of-year work stuff, baking, travel and meetings, parties, shopping, then taking off for a week or two whether I’m ready or not is the typical set of activities. Taken separately it’s fun, but altogether it can feel like the reward for making it over the big hill is a surprise high-speed drop that leaves me breathless with my hair standing on end. I love Christmas – if only I could manage the crazy four weeks leading up to it and the guilt I feel for not enjoying every minute of it.

So maybe this year is better. We decided we didn’t have to put up every garland and every ornament at church; not every surface and doorway had to be adorned. Maybe some other elves will enjoy decorating, or we’ll just do a little less this year. It’s still beautiful and I don’t think anyone will notice – let alone be upset – about the difference. That’s a good start. Perhaps I won’t go crazy shopping. I could get fewer, more thoughtful items, ship them ahead, and not spend so much or fret over the “I really would like to get these and they’d be awfully nice but this person doesn’t even know I’ve considered getting this for them and I just can’t decide” gifts that make me run all over three states on the last weekend before Christmas. I will then avoid having to get ready for the company holiday party in 20 minutes flat, and instead get ready ahead of time and enjoy reading a book while my nail polish dries. I know how good it felt to do yoga today, and to get in my morning run on Thanksgiving, so I definitely should work out 3-4 times a week in December. I’ll be sure to get up a half hour earlier to do that, and of course get to sleep at a reasonable time so I’m well-rested each day.

Sounds good, eh? It’s only December 1. Just think what my new year’s resolutions will be! The good news is that regardless of how December turns out, I’ve had just the kind of relaxing, re-energizing, feel-good day I needed to get me to a good starting place.

How Many Have You Read: I tried to read A heartbreaking work of staggering genius. I couldn’t finish it. Too self-indulgent, too many words to get to the point. I made it about half-way through before it returned to the library.

Things I Get Jazzed About: Sarah, I can’t wait to see you at your holiday party and hopefully I’ll get to chat with you before then. We did hire Rachel (the woman to whom I made reference) and she starts Jan 2. I’ve been told I’ll get part of her time on my project (Painful Yet Satisfying).

Painful Yet Satisfying: despite my efforts, the demo was a flop. Nonetheless the program will continue. I think this is the best result but it’s a little mind-boggling.

Feeling Appreciated (Volunteering at MIT): I haven’t made it to an AILG Board meeting in a few months, and the breakfast meeting in November was really anti-climactic for me. In the mean time I was asked to be on the IRDF board of allocation. While I’ve not been able to make one of their meetings either, they held a special lunch at the Harvard Faculty Club to welcome me, since our chair David Latham is a professor there. (By the way, this was the epitome of civilized. Madrigal singers provided muted but melodious accompaniment. The staff brought the next course with sub-minute precision of when one was done with the previous course. The food was delicious. The waitstaff was inconspicuous. There was no rush.) I have to admit, I think this is the way I’m heading in my volunteer career. Lesser time commitment, easier to participate remotely; where there is money, there is influence. Also the smaller committee suits me well, as do the particular members of the group.

Ticked Off and Tired: Brian has made a complete recovery from Lyme Disease. No ticks here. We haven’t had a successful hike since that infamous day, but he’s been back to most of his usual activities and sleep patterns, with perhaps a slightly higher affinity for naps now that it’s Daylight Savings Time of the year.

I kinda like this system debugging stuff. Using assumptions like “Greg is almost always right” and approaches like “check the simplest explanation first” I found the root cause and solution to three bugs this afternoon. Ok, this afternoon was about 12 hours, but still, it’s about a week’s worth of normal progress in 12 hours. It also helps that there are no cell phones, no blackberries, no laptops.  In this classified facility, there are no distractions.

I like doing this work. It’s fun problem solving, tracking the logic to figure out what’s going on.  I’m really pleased that I remember how the fuser works and how to read a tagtracksfile.  I even faked my way through a parameter config file.  People haven’t started to cringe when I stop by because I don’t blame them or leave them with a mess, I keep tracking it until it’s dead. (first DTT reference) I’m pretty good at it. It feels good. I reminds me of those heralded golden weeks when Dan, Evan, Phil and I alternated time at Dayton and got DTT running. (second DTT reference) I wish others would step up to this role, and would have done it earlier. I wish I didn’t have to work on it until late into the night at the very last possible moment, despite my experience that this is often the situation that requires/allows me to be in this position.  I suggested maybe we do one of these early in 08, well before the demo, when we don’t have to work 16 hour days and can actually enjoy the camaraderie.  We’ll see if it happens.

Most people who saw me Monday knew it was going to be a painful week.  Who knew it would also be at least a little bit satisfying?

We’ve had two really productive Saturdays in a row. Last weekend we wanted to go hiking to celebrate the offical end of Brian’s lyme disease (he took the last antibiotic that morning) but Hurricane Noel caused the weather to be steady rain, wind and cold all day, so we turned our energies to the Rumpus Room instead. Over the summer it had become a messy repository of stinky workout clothes drying on equipment, scattered hiking gear ready to be stuffed into a pack (or having just been removed from a pack), and piles of files that had managed to get put there “just for a while” but seemed to be out of sight and thus out of mind. We moved everything to one side of the room, started putting it away in the attic, folded in drawers, or in the closet as we went, then dusted and swept that side of the room before doing the reverse. At the end of the afternoon we had a clean exercise area, one half for lifting and the other for yoga or Martina workouts. Success! This was definitely a task best tackled together. We were both pretty sneezy and tired by the end. We had one fun interlude on the paperwork front: we decided to shred all our old checks from inactive accounts. The process was to tear out about 6 pages of checks, feed them into the shredder, smile gleefully as the shredder ate them, then get more checks. Brian and I alternated feeding paper so efficiently that we caused the poor little shredder to overheat. Luckily we let it cool down and it seems to be as good as new.

This weekend we tackled the living rooms. Again, lots of sweeping and dusting and moving electronic equipment and putting piles of stuff away. The front living room is ready to entertain guests or just hang out, and the fireplace room has significantly less cat hair and is thus more conducive to reading or working by the fire. It’s really much more fun to clean together.

Today (Nov 11) is Brian’s birthday. I noted Saturday morning that it’s his “Big Papi” birthday, #34. Since David Ortiz is my favorite baseball player, this can only bode well for Brian’s year, I think. We celebrated by having dinner with Dan and Nate at 10 Center Street, then came back home for chocolate cake and coffee. Brian got several nice cards from our family too.

In between, Brian completed his training at the women’s crisis center, I went to a purse party, and in sports I was able to escape my conference to participate in the Red Sox rolling rally down Tremont Street. It’s a great time to be a sports fan in Boston. I think those are the highlights.

Answer: Women in technical business.

I’ve been asking some of my Section Leads to answer this question for each person in their group. So, I thought I’d also do the exercise myself.

Yes, it may seem obvious. But it still puts me in a happy tizzy to talk with another woman about leading technology development, mentoring other women, collaborating together, having a major impact on our company’s direction, or even just owning and running our little corner of the business. I enjoy reading about it. I love living in it.

It feels like finding a hidden treasure – you mean you’re like *me*? You want to go build business and talk to customers and created really cool advanced technologies too? You create a vision out of hand-wavy off-the-cuff ideas and then get people to pay you to implement it? You sometimes feel like you have no idea what you’re doing, but you’ll figure it out before other people catch on? How fast can I talk? When can we have coffee/lunch/just skip my morning of meetings to chat?

Many career guides will say to find what you love and then do it. The tricky thing about finding that I like this is that I have to be in it to do it. I can’t just be a coach or mentor or full time trainer – I have to actively keep doing what I’m doing to be relevant, to make the contacts, to have something to offer. I have to be successful in the business to show others they can be successful. (You might argue about consulting, but I’m not sold. The best consultants do it, then consult, then go back to doing it, or even better they offer advice while they are doing it).

Almost across the board, I hear (and experience) it’s hard to have a healthy balance to the demands of work and to find others who reinforce that choice. It seems even harder when I’m trying to advise and coach and pave the way for others at the same time I’m doing it for myself. But, it sure makes it a lot more fun along the way to work with other women and talk about really changing the culture, not just fighting the culture we inherited.